I apologise now as this is not a photography related post but sometimes life events slap you right in the face and hit the ‘wake up and rest’ button.

This lockdown has been the toughest yet, and I don’t know anyone that would disagree with me.  (Unless you’re loaded, a robot or devoid of all emotion.)  I was feeling totally despondent after receiving postponement after postponement, then wedding cancellations at which point complete panic about the future had set in.  Every day was like groundhog day with no end point.  We are all emotionally exhausted; I can’t imagine how those saints working on the nhs intensive care wards feel. 

The chaos and despair surrounding me was broken for a brief second this afternoon with the distinct sound of breaking news pinging on my iphone.  I looked down and could see the words in black and white, ‘Captain Sir Tom Moore has died after testing positive for coronavirus’.  Right then, the biggest pang of sadness came over me and my heart broke.  I’m not an openly emotional person.  Well I am ; I am hugely sensitive, totally over emotional and massively empathetic but behind closed doors.  This was really out of character for me.  The tears were flowing.  

I’m sure this sounds completely over the top but having taken myself out for a run in the horizontal wind and rain, letting the raindrops hit me I was able to try and rationalize why I felt totally broken.  

It’s simple; Captain Tom was my hope.  He was my inspiration, my driving force, my focus.  He was the positive influence in my and my son’s life.  Whilst my son was struggling with not seeing his grandparents, his friends, his auntie, uncles, cousins, everything ‘normal’ , we would tune in and watch Captain Tom.  I would watch the fundraising total climb higher and higher and we would watch in awe about how he captured a nation; how he captured the world.  Captain Tom was the first update we would tune in to of a morning, it was our escape.  Watching him complete his laps, the flypast, his birthday cake, his honorary medal, being knighted, his many interviews, his wise words, his music, the list goes on. He really was a character quite unique and beautiful at the same time. I didn’t even know Captain Tom but his loss is felt deeper than I would ever have imagined.

Lockdown won’t be the same without Captain Tom.  He was what got us through.  As he said all too often, ‘This too will pass’.  


To the haters, the trolls, the fake news creators, 

The vile and repulsive conspiracy makers;

Put down your pens, delete that vile post, 

This man deserves our respect more than most. 

Spread your wings Captain Tom .  

You will never be forgotten.